The Second Chance Conundrum
by MD4evaOLTL
Summary: Unhappy with the choices he has made in his life, Sheldon resigns to live out the rest of his days mourning the loss of never telling Penny how he felt about her before he lost her to Leonard. If only he could do it all over. It looks like he may just get that chance. Will Sheldon seize his second chance at love?
1. Chapter 1

Sheldon poured himself a cup of tea and took a seat at his dining room table. It was cloudy and raining in Manhattan with the day somehow copying his mood. It was times like these that he would look back on his life and try to figure out where it went wrong. He had met his biggest goal years ago and had become a Noble laureate, but once upon a time where that had been enough it was only cold comfort now, for he was alone. He was 68 years old, and found himself wondering what was he going to do with the rest of his life?

He was alone, with neither close family nor friends. His mother and Mee-Maw had both passed away, his brother George who had left home for cigarettes only never to return, abandoning his wife and kids for a 17 yr. old fast food worker. George was currently traveling with her on the carnival circuit, she read fortunes and he worked games of chance to people who actually believed in that hokum. His nieces and nephews found him strange and weird, making their relationship one of the obligated birthday and Christmas presents once a year (at least until they had reached the age of eighteen and received a graduation present thus ending his uncle's obligations).

His sister was on her second marriage and had become an even bigger religious zealot than their mother. Religion did very little to hide the pain of being unable to have children or the reality of her marriage to a man that made their father look like a teetotaler.

He gave a heavy sigh, not that he was every really close to his siblings, but he wondered at their family dynamic, destined only to get together for funerals or weddings, the last time being 12 years ago at their mother's funeral.

His relationship with his friends had fared no better than the one he had with his family. Raj with his inability to talk to women, had succumbed to his mother's demand to come home and marry a girl of his family choosing. They had run into each other a few years ago at a conference, Raj had been married to Manjulah for 25yrs., and inexplicably still haven't overcome his silent infliction. They had two sons which made it all the more baffling to him. Raj worked in London at the University teaching physics, no longer in research, but relegated to trying to inspire labradoodles to embrace the world of science.

Howard and Bernadette had gotten divorced years ago, in the aftermath of their only son death who had been hit by a car. Both unable to get past the pain and blaming each other and themselves, drifted apart. He had run into Bernadette a couple of years ago and learned she had remarried and was a stay at home mom. She had no information on Howard, except that he was living with his mother once again. He wasn't surprised upon hearing of Howard new living arrangements.

Amy had given him an ultimatum, either they would have a realrelationship with sex or they were over. He had at first refused, but two weeks later Leonard and Penny announced that they were getting married. He felt betrayed and hurt but didn't understand why until he came home one day and found Penny looking at a magazine by the mailbox, when she showed him a picture of a wedding dress she was admiring. It was the image of her in that dress walking toward Leonard and not him that hit him with pain and regret so deep he could hardly breathe. Penny had asked him was he all right, but he had a suspicion he would never be all right again.

He wanted Penny, in fact was in love with her, and probably had always been. He, homo-novus, was in love with a waitress from Nebraska and who had no understanding of the most elementary aspects of physics. He had mumbled that he was fine, and after thrusting the magazine back to her, ran upstairs trying to outrun the sudden pain at the realization that his Penny was lost to him and would soon be marrying his best friend. Only Leonard really wasn't, in fact that moniker belonged to Penny, who had proved to be a better friend than Leonard had ever been.

He was in love with his best friend, who was engaged to his roommate and he was unable to stop the train wreck he knew was ahead for both of them if they would go through with this abomination. Even the comfort, of sitting at 0,0,0,0 had not been enough to stop the maelstrom of emotions he had just realized.

He had no idea how he made it through those following days, after wondering how the situation could be any worse, Leonard asked him to be his best man. He had wanted to scream that he was unable to watch Penny make the biggest mistake of her life and wanted no front row seat for this debacle. Instead he gave an excuse that Howard was more qualified for the position due to his own married state and his familiarity with the customs of the bachelor party. Leonard quickly and happily agreed, making him suspect that Penny had made Leonard approach him in the first place. The days leading up to their wedding were hard for him; he had even abandoned his schedule to escape the talk of the upcoming nuptials.

The Saturday night, a week before the wedding, Penny had shown up in the laundry room as he was finishing his folding. Even he could sense that something was wrong with her and he immediately invited her upstairs for a hot beverage, knowing Leonard was still out with Howard and Raj for the night. She had looked lost and anxious at the same time, making him want to take her in his arms and tell her everything would be okay.

After sitting a few minutes, sipping at their tea she finally asked him "Was she making a mistake, was Leonard the GUY or could it be someone else?"

She had talked to her mother and girlfriends who all assured her Leonard would take good care of her and he was a whole lot better than Kurt. But she was thinking maybe there should be more than that to a marriage, than settling for someone who was better than the last guy she dated? He was frozen into shock. Finally a chance to tell her, yes she deserved more than a pseudo-life with a second rank experimental physicist. A chance for them to be together, and whether he lost his friends or his schedule, he didn't care because Penny was all he ever needed and wanted. Leaning into her space and taking her hand into his to tell her what was in his heart, he was suddenly interrupted by his roommate, friend and associate untimely return. They both quickly jumped apart, but the tension was soon picked up by the newcomers in the room. Penny claimed to have an early work day and left, giving her fiancé a peck on the cheek making her way to her apartment. The new occupants of the room felt the tension only rise at her departure had turned to look at him. Leonard had asked him to catch him up, what was it that he had said to Penny that obvious had her upset. He too was upset at the interruption, had stood up and stalked to his bedroom, slamming his door behind him. He heard Leonard tell the guys no movie tonight because he had to see what the whack-a-doodle did to upset Penny, leaving and failing to return home that night.

Penny had avoided being alone with him after that night, either her having second thoughts were calmed down by Leonard or she no longer had them. If anything she seemed to be more determined to assure everyone around her that she couldn't wait to be Mrs. Leonard Hofstedar, striking him as ringing false. The days before the wedding he still was unable to get Penny alone to talk, because she had chosen to spend those days leading up to the big event living at Amy's apartment.

In the end he watched the woman he was in love with marry an inferior, lactose intolerant homunculus. It was too late to tell her that he should have let her known that he was interested in her when they first had met and scoffed at Leonard when he had called dibs on her, or better yet he should have kissed her instead of giving her a hug for the greatest Christmas present he had ever received.

It was after the reception and getting drunk, that he told Amy he was ready to accept her clause on intimacy in their relationship if she was willing to reinstate their former agreement. She had agreed and led Sheldon to her hotel room, where they had engaged in coitus. He had found it as messy and unaspiring as he believed it to be, at least with Amy. It was only his imagining that it was Penny that made him follow through with the sexual act.

After the wedding he fully resumed the relationship he had with Amy the only difference being coitus was scheduled on Thursdays and Sundays from 8:20pm until 9:00pm, with ten minute being attributed to foreplay and/or until the conclusion of the aforementioned sexual act was completed.

Unable to cope with seeing Penny every day, he offered the apartment to Leonard and her, citing it was bigger than Penny's which they were residing in and he had found an apartment closer to campus to rent that would better fit his needs. After moving he went weeks without seeing his friends, only seeing Amy as agreed upon four times a week, two of those days being not only date nights, but for coitus. The other two days could be actually dates or Skype interactions, his preference usual being the latter.

It was a few months later that Amy pushed for them to make their union legal and binding, much to his chagrin. He emphatically made his position known on the subject, he had decided not to reproduce, and therefore the need for him to get married was moot. She again gave him an ultimatum, which he refused to buckle under this time. They again called their relationship to an end, with Amy stating the only compromise she would be willing to make is a long engagement. He knew he didn't love Amy, but felt strangely adrift when his last tie to Penny's everyday life had been severed.

Only with his work left to offer him any consolation, he threw himself into it. More and more of his articles and theories came into the attention of the science community. He was asked to collaborate with some of the world's top physicists and even doing his own ground breaking work that afforded him a year abroad to prove his theories with the Hadron Collider. He jumped at the opportunity to leave his heartache behind, and determined not to dwell on what he had given up due to his unwillingness to see what was right in front of him. He resigned his position at Cal-Tech leaving his old life behind him once and for all.

It was when he ran into Raj at that conference he learned that Leonard had left Penny for a younger and prettier graduate student. Raj had kept in close touch with everyone, even meeting up with Leonard and Howard for an occasional Comic-con or Sci-fi convention. Raj, had admitted to him that the marriage was doomed before he had left for India, with Leonard pointing out all of Penny shortcomings and her nonexistent acting career driving her to drink more and more. She had been to rehab twice before she got pregnant, which made her temporarily stay on the wagon. It was during her pregnancy that Leonard had first started to cheat, complaining to his friends that Penny was neglecting him. Later Leonard had confided into Howard and him that he no longer found her sexy or desirable, and she made no attempt at all to understand his work. Raj, had heard from Howard later, that he did little to hide his infidelities and Penny became more and more reliant on alcohol, her daughter being her one bright spot in her life. It was when they dropped their daughter off at her first day of college that he had let her know he was finally leaving her for good. She soon left Pasadena, after their divorce, going back to Nebraska to take care of her aging, sick mother and no one had heard from her since.

Disgusted with his trip down memory lane, he let out another long exasperated sigh and decided to turn in early tonight. Though retired he still traveled and gave lectures on his award winning work and tomorrow afternoon he was schedule to give one in Chicago and traffic at JFK was hectic regardless the time one left for the airport. Besides it did little good to dwell on things he couldn't change, he had let a life with Penny slip through his fingers and now he had to live with his life's biggest folly; not letting Penny knew what she meant to him when he had the chance.

Hindsight truly was 20/20.

His last thoughts before falling into a fitful sleep, if only he could do it all over again he would do it right.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sadly, I don't own TBBT, but are only borrowing them to play with and will put them back when I am finish. Please be advised that this is my first fanfic I ever written and I'm having trouble with the format and I have no beta. So please bear with the newbie:P**

Beep, beep, beep… Sheldon reached over to grab his cellphone and to turn it off. Throwing off his covers, he slid on his slippers and made his way to the bathroom. Opening his bedroom door was when he received his first shock. Instead of stepping out in his hallway in his Manhattan apartment he was in the hallway of his old apartment in Pasadena, which was impossible because he had moved out of it over 30 years ago. He looked back into what should have been his bedroom in New York, but it had transformed into his old bedroom in California. His mind tried to come up with a logical and plausible explanation on why he was back in his old bedroom. The only explanation was that he was in fact dreaming he was back in California due to his introspection of his life yesterday. His subconscious mind must have brought him to this place, the scene of his one biggest regret. 'I will go back to bed in this dream and will wake up back up in my bedroom in New York'. Agreeing that was the best option he turned to enter his room, when Leonard's door opened at the end of the hallway producing a sleep ruffled roommate, limping lightly and mumbling that he needed coffee. Sheldon stood transfixed as he watched his 'dream roommate' start his morning coffee. He marveled when his olfactory senses became engaged in the dream, swearing that he could really smell the coffee brewing. It was when Leonard started to speak that he shook himself out of his trance. Leonard was complaining about how Penny seemed to marvel at David Underhill traits, the same traits he claimed he possessed. Bemoaning that he couldn't understand how she would overlook him for David because his traits came in a somewhat sexier package. Sheldon gave a slight scoff, thinking about the many times Leonard had pursued women strictly based on looks, Penny included. Leonard had failed to see what was below the surface with their next door neighbor, fixating only on her appropriateness to be suitable arm candy. Sheldon, with his eidetic memory, immediately remembered this conversation happening a couple of days before Penny had given him Leonard Nimoy's napkin that he had signed and used, given him a part of his hero's DNA. Curiouser and curiouser. In fact he was schedule to going shopping this afternoon to acquire her gift with Howard and Raj. He remembered his speech he had given her that she was gifting him with an obligation due to reciprocity, making him beholden to get her a gift of equal value. He gave an inward groan, as that particular memory had him cringing at his attitude toward Penny when she was only trying to give him a gift from the heart. Though he received the best gift ever, he had missed one of the pivotal moments in his life to let Penny know how he really felt.

"Sheldon!" He jumped as Leonard screamed out his name trying to get his attention.

"Are you okay, you spaced out there for a minute, buddy." Leonard was starting to worry his roommate maybe was sick. Seven minutes past his noted bathroom time and he was just staring off in space. He quickly formulated a getaway plan, leaving Penny, Raj and Howard to hang in the wind. No, that wasn't fair he would warn them, but only after he made his own escape. Sheldon turned to look at Leonard, the person who had stolen his happy ever after and then threw it away for a younger model when Penny had dared to get older. Leonard began to squirm under Sheldon's cold and unwavering stare, one that he would swear was full of hate and animosity, but for what he couldn't began to fathom. The uncomfortable silence stretched out, with Leonard starting to feel slightly unnerved at Sheldon's persistent gaze. Nervously, he once again pointed out to Sheldon that he was missing his designated bathroom time. The response from his moody roommate was to turn on his heel and storm in to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Growing more perplexed at Sheldon's behavior, he silently feared that Sheldon had most likely had his lab accident. In the bathroom Sheldon tried to calm down, telling himself that it's only a dream. A horrible dream to show me what an imbecile I was to have thrown my one true chance at being in love and ever having true happiness away. Looking in the mirror and seeing his younger self looking back gave him quite a start. Studying his face without the gray hair, the deep lines of disappointment and permanent sneer made him realize how young and idealistic he still had been at this time. In this time his only worry was when he would win his Nobel Prize, leading him to obsess over his career. His dedication to his work had taken precedent over every aspect of his life, even love. What time he didn't spend on work he had spent playing video games, collecting and reading comic books, and watching sci-fi on television. Funny, how he had abandon all of those foibles when he lost his chance at ever being with Penny. He decided to take his shower hoping that it wouldn't lead to nocturnal enuresis; after all he was still asleep in bed in New York. Stepping out of his Thursday's pajamas and into the hot shower he couldn't get over at how real everything seemed to feel. The hot water washing over him, his shampoo he washed out of his hair, even his soap smelled and felt real. He never had a dream manifestation that felt so real, that had engaged all of his senses so thoroughly. Brushing his teeth he wondered why he couldn't just spend the dream with Penny instead of on his mundane grooming habits. He decided to get dress and wait until 11a.m. and then go to Penny's. Not quite sure why he was still following no-knocking-until-after-11a.m.-rule in his own dream, (perhaps even in his dream state he worried about his neck) he decided to fix him a bowl of cereal, even though it was French toast Friday and watch television since school was closed today due to the holiday break. Halfway during a documentary on the royal family, someone knocked on the door. Well not someone, but Penny who he had remembered came over the first time for some milk for her coffee. On his way to let her in he decided if this was a just a dream that he would enjoy it, and perhaps do things a whole lot different this time. Why not, he reasoned, it was just a dream. Opening the door, he smiled and gave her an enthusiastic, "Good morning, Penny I trust you slept well."

"Good morning to you too sweetie. You're in a good mood this morning."

She smiled up at him and he almost forgot to breathe. Even having just woken up she was beautiful, not realizing he had spoken his thoughts aloud. Penny was momentarily shocked. Did Sheldon just say I was beautiful?

"Ummm, thank you, Sheldon." Flustered at his compliment and what seem to be a genuine smile at her presence she asked him if she could borrow some milk for her coffee, holding up her mug.

"Of course Penny, just help yourself. I was wondering would you like to go shopping around five. I should be back from my outing with Raj and Howard and I've decided to make a traditional Saturnalia meal. Since you are unable to travel home this year, I would like your help with dinner." Stunned speechless, she sipped her coffee determine to find out why he was acting truly happy, with no snide remarks or smugness that seem to always be present with him.

"Sheldon are you sure you're okay?"

"I 'm much better than okay, Penny, I'm ecstatic. I'm off work until the beginning of the new year, I'm in excellent health and best of all I'm sharing the morning with my best friend. The best friend I'm hoping that will help me shop for and prepare dinner for our friends."

Sheldon stepped closer, his fingertips lightly brushing her arm and whispered into her ear, "Maybe I can bribe you by taking you out to dinner after we finish grocery shopping."

Penny body gave a slight shiver and leaned into him as his hot breathe passed over her ear, she gave herself a mental shake and reminded her libido that this was Dr. Sheldon Cooper. And he did not just make a move on her.

Taking a step or two back before replying, "I can't Sheldon, I have a date with David tonight, so it's a no go on the shopping but I can help fix the dinner." Unwilling to let her retreat he stepped back into her personal space.

"Penny, you do know David Underhill is married?" Sheldon asked, using what he learned about this roaming Casanova before, to get Penny's agreement for shopping and dinner tonight. He could smell her vanilla scent filling his nostrils and feel the smooth skin which felt like silk under his fingertips. Good Lord, if this was a dream he prayed he would never wake up.

"He's what!?" She shouted, "Are you sure, he didn't have on a wedding ring and wouldn't Leonard have said something."

He could see she was visibly upset at Underhill's attempt at subterfuge about being married. He took her mug and placed it on the counter and then reached for her hands, slowly using his thumbs to rub the back of her hands. He could feel the tension slowly ebb out of her body. Releasing her hands, he began to use his hands to rub up and down her arms. She started to lean into his touch, her body wanting to get closer to his.

"I'm not sure Leonard was aware of his marital status, but I feel you should at least be aware of that important fact if you choose to continue to date him." She stepped more into his embrace telling herself she just wanted to give him a thank you hug for looking out for her well-being. She slowly wrapped her hands around his middle and laid her head on his chest, screaming in her head 'Abort! Abort!' Instead of pushing her away he wrapped his arms around her and slowly began to make languid strokes down her back.

"Does this new information you've received about David Underhill, have you reconsidering your plans for tonight?" God, she felt like heaven in his arms, so soft and warm, she felt like home.

"Yeah, it does. I would love to go shopping and out for dinner, but what about vintage game night?" She mumbled into his chest, knowing that there was no way he was missing that. Placing his fingers under her chin and tilting her face upward toward his, so she could look him in his eyes to ascertain the truth behind his next statement. Leaning down to whisper in her ear again, "There is nothing in my schedule that is more important than spending time with you."

Holy crap on a cracker! Sheldon is flirting with me and he has some serious game. I will not drag him to his room and have my wicked way with him. There has to be some logical reason for this. Is he a pod person? An animatronic? Drunk? An evil, sexy twin? Okay this is Mr. Germ-a-phobic, so if I kiss him he should run out of the room to sanitize his whole body and everyone is back to their OCD normal selves. Yes, that's a great plan. I'll just kiss him to snap him out of whatever this is and not because I seriously want to jump his bones. She slowly brought her hands up and around his neck pulling him down for a kiss. No freaking way! Sheldon is not only kissing me, he just nipped my bottom lip and ran his tongue over it deepening the kiss into a French kiss. Are his hands cupping my ass? Sheldon has a deal, and by the feel of it grinding into me it's a very 'big' and 'hard' deal. I just moaned in his mouth and pushed my body closer to his. On the count of three, I will stop whatever this is with Sheldon and go home. One, two, two and a half, two and three quarters, three! His picking me up and placing me on the island and why are my legs wrapping around him? Shit now he's kissing my neck and lifting my shirt up in behind to rub my bare skin on my back. Why does this feel so damn good? I'm making out with Sheldon Lee Cooper in his kitchen and not one word about germs. Trying to get the situation under control before it went too far, she pulled back from his kiss with regret. Looking in his eyes she was mesmerized, his blue eyes were hooded and almost black with passion and he was breathing hard like he had just ran up a flight of stairs. He rested his forehead on hers and begun stroking her hair with one hand while the other one was at the small of her back holding her in place.

"Penny," he only spoke her name, but he made it seem like a prayer for benediction, which made another involuntary shiver rack her body. "I know this may seem out of character for me, but I can't tell you how many times that I have dreamed of you like this with me now. Never in all my life have my dreams about me loving you have ever felt so genuine. Your unique smell, the feel of your silky skin, the softness of your hair or the sweet taste of your kisses feels so unbelievable real."

He never fantasized this vivid and real before, he could almost swear that he was really her holding Penny in his arms. Exploring everything he always wanted if she had been his to worship. He decided if this was a dream he was going to make the best of it. He stepped back and lifted her shirt above her head and laid it to the side. Her pink rose tinted nipples were hard, standing at attention waiting for his tongue to show them some consideration. He took one into his mouth and smiled when she gave a deep moan. As he began in earnest sucking on her nipple, he brought his hand to tug gently at the other one making her shudder and arch her back to come in closer contact with his naughty tongue. He soon gave her other nipple some oral attention too, not wanting it to feel neglected. Penny felt like her whole body was on fire and she had a certain urge to feel his skin next to hers. She grabbed his T-shirt and thermal and pulled it over his head and threw them on the floor. She grabbed the back of his head and brought him in for another searing kiss. Their skin rubbed together creating a pleasant friction on her nipples as she tried harder to mold her body into his unable to get close enough to him. Lost in the sensations he was feeling he failed to hear a door open and footsteps coming down the hall. He didn't become aware of Leonard until he heard him yelling, "What the fuck is going on?"

Shocked out of their sex induced haze, Sheldon quickly turned around, shielding Penny's body from Leonard's accusing stare. Even though it was a dream, and this was his ex-wife, he had no attentions of Leonard sharing in his present fantasy about Penny. "If you wouldn't mind turning around or better yet leaving so Penny can put her shirt back on."

"Her SHIRT back on, what the hell is it doing off in the first damn place!" Leonard spat out viciously.

Quickly fed up with his roommate ire, "Leave now or I will help you leave, but make no mistake about it Leonard, you are leaving." Furious with impotent rage about what he was seeing, but feeling a touch of fear at Sheldon's dead calm and menacing tone, he turned to go back to his room, banging his door behind him. Penny let out the breathe she hadn't realize she was holding. She should have been more disturbed that Leonard had caught them making out and was angry over no doubt as what he saw as betrayal, but it was all she could do from refraining to drag Sheldon to her bed and have her big ole five way with his body. Sheldon wondered what kind of dream would have his roommate interrupt it before he got to the good part, which was more like a nightmare. He got a sinking feeling as he helped Penny to put back on her shirt that maybe this wasn't a dream at all. It felt too real and to detail, nothing like any other dream he had before about Penny. Was he in an alternate reality? Had he fallen into a wormhole? Was the last 30 odd years of his life a horrible nightmare and he finally woke up? Maybe he travelled back in time, like on _Quantum Leap_ to right the wrongs of his own life? Was the universe giving him another chance to make his life better? The how and why he would tackle later, but now he had an armful of Penny and nothing else wasn't important as that.

"I'm sorry, Penny."

Suddenly, she felt awkward and embarrassed. Of course he hadn't meant any of this she was so stupid. She gave a self-depreciating laugh and slid of the island.

"No worries Sheldon, let's just forget about it." Grabbing her now cold mug of coffee she turned to make her escape. 'Stupid, stupid Penny! Making out with Sheldon, what were you thinking!' Before she could make a clean getaway Sheldon had blocked off her only means of escape.

"Penny, I believed you misunderstood my apology. I'm sorry for letting my attraction for you to lead to my baser instincts and attack your person without giving you a chance to learn that I wish to woo you. I first wanted to take you out and to let you know how kind, special and wonderful I think you are. I had rather hoped our new relationship paradigm would start over a romantic dinner I had planned after shopping, and not with me mauling you in my kitchen." If this was his second chance than he wasn't going to do this by half measures. He was going to let her know he was serious and wanted a relationship of mind, body and soul.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I believe we could be more, if you're willing to give us a chance?"

She saw the heartfelt truth in his eyes behind his plea and felt her stomach start to flutter. Where had this Sheldon been hiding? She was confused, but excited at the prospect of dating Sheldon. He wasn't her usual dumb, tall, and muscle-bound type. No, he was smart (okay, he was a fraking genius), tall and had a swimmer's build that she had been attractive to instantly when they first met. Well at least until he spoke and proved to be bat crap crazy with an OCD streak a mile wide. In spite of that he was now one of her closest friend, maybe even her best friend. She still found him attractive and God knew from just what happen in the kitchen that they had sparks. Shit, they had a full electrical power plant worth of sparkage. The bottom line was she wanted Sheldon. Had always wanted him but never believed that he would want her, with nothing coming before his love of physics and his quest for that elusive Nobel Prize. She wanted this and like everything else she ever has done in her life she would jump in it with both feet, consequence be damn. She cupped his face with her hand and pulled him down for a feather light kiss.

Looking in to his eyes, "Sweetie I will love to go shopping and out to dinner. I'll see you at five. Goodbye, Moonpie."

After giving him another soft kiss she left. Leaving only an empty room to witness his smile and hear his laughing reply of, "Penny, only Mee-maw can call me Moonpie."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N I Need to cop to a couple of mistake. First Penny is from Nebraska (thanx clint bolr for first pointing that out to me ) and Penny first boyfriend name was Kurt, not Kirk. My bad. Of course everyone is aware I own nothing, but my imagination:D Please be advise that this has changed from a T rating into a M rating. I tried to keep it PG, but my muse seems to be little freaky.

Penny let herself into her apartment with her mind warring with her body to drag Sheldon over here to finish what they had started. She let out a deep breath and shook her head. If anyone had told her just yesterday that she would make out with 'Sheldon-human-emotions-are-beneath-me-Cooper' she would had died laughing. Until this morning she would have sworn he had no idea how his boy shaped parts fitted with girl shaped parts. Mr. Beautiful Mind not only knew how both parts came together, but he seemed to know _**really, really**_ well. No, he definitely wasn't asexual or homosexual, but 100% heterosexual male. Ten to one odds if Leonard hadn't interrupted she would probably be on her way to her second orgasm by now. Damn, her panties were soaked through from his few kisses, light touches and that oh so talented tongue like some novice.

"God, I need some relief before I explode! Shower or Mister Tibbs? Who am I'm kidding, Mister Tibbs it is." She mumbled to herself.

Shedding her clothes as she headed towards her bedroom, she swiftly got comfortable in bed. She felt like her body was literally on fire. Her skin was flushed red and a light sheen of perspiration covered it all over. Her mouth was dry and she anxiously licked at her dry lips with her tongue to moisten them. Reaching into her bedside drawer she pulled out her favorite sex toy, an 8 inch vibrator she had dubbed Mister Tibbs. She declined the lube, her morning encounter with Sheldon rendering it totally unnecessary, feeling the moisture from her sex coating her inner thighs. Placing Mister Tibbs on her clit and turning it on she brought her other hand to pull at her hard nipples, imagining that they were Sheldon's long dexterous fingers rolling the hard nubs between his fingers. Moaning at the sensations her body were feeling, she poised Mr. Tibbs of her wet entrance and slowly pushed it into her waiting entrance. She felt the vibrator sliding in and out of her dripping channel, arousing her clit and repeatedly finding its way back inside her. Thoughts of Sheldon with his head thrown back, eyes shut, hands stroking her feverishly, his hips thrusting desperately into hers had her racing toward her finish. She bucked and whimpered, and may well have screamed for all she knew.

"Oh fuck, Sheldon!" she groaned aloud, losing herself over to a spiraling climax as she rode out the continuous wave of her sought out release.

She felt boneless and sated as the relaxed feelings of the sexual satisfied spread throughout her body. Never had she climaxed so hard and so fast from masturbating. Sheldon Cooper had helped bring her off like a rocket and that was something she had never would of thought possible. Though, if she were to be honest with herself, deep down she had always wanted Sheldon even willing to wait until he got comfortable with the whole 'coitus' aspect of a relationship. She didn't considering her need for intimacy as her being a slut, but held no illusion that was how most people saw her. She was young and single with a very healthy sexual appetite, so her forgoing sex to be with Sheldon proved to her how much she truly wanted the lanky physicist. It had been irrelevant, because the idea of Sheldon agreeing to see where a relationship between them could go was inconceivable. Now out of the blue he had done a complete 180 overnight and showed her he not only wanted a relationship, but didn't seem to mind the physical aspect of one.

The boldness he displayed was so out of character from everything she thought she had known about him. His behavior though out of left field, wasn't the biggest shock she had faced in her morning pursuit for milk. It had been his eyes. Exasperation at her continued mooching and disbelief over her flawed reasoning was a familiar expression she came to expect from Sheldon's baby blues. But none of that was what she had witness this morning. He had seemed awed, stunned and something else she was unwilling to look at too closely. It was crazy and ridiculous to think she saw THAT reflecting in his eyes. Sheldon loved physics, comic books, trains, and his Mee-maw. Sheldon did not love three-tine forks, Babylon 5, others touching his food and Penny. 'Probably just a trick of the light or just wishful thinking on my part.'

"Where in the hell did that come from? There is absolutely no wishing for him to love me!" She cried out in her empty bedroom.

Stopping her mind from wandering off in that strange direction she began to wonder instead about Leonard's behavior on witnessing her and Sheldon in the kitchen. Upset didn't describe his attitude, he had been enraged. Sure she had gone out with him once, but he was acting like he had caught his beloved girlfriend cheating on him with his roommate. It was disturbing because he had no right to be, with him resuming his relationship with Leslie Winkle and then going on to date Dr. Stephanie Barnett. She had not strung him along or promised him anything which made his territorial behavior seem more than a little creepy. She shook her head and let out a dry laugh at the path of her thoughts. This was Leonard, for God sakes, he was a nice guy and though his reaction may had been a little over the top, he was her friend and would want her to be happy.

Thinking of Leonard was really ruining her sexual high, but thoughts of the upcoming confrontation she needed to have with Dr. David Underhill killed any lingering feel good moments she had left. Determining not to waste any more energy on Mr. Infidelity she fired off an angry text and let him know if she ever saw him again she would Lorena Bobbit his cheating ass.

Powerless to stop the whirlwind of thoughts going through her mind and enjoy her afterglow, she decided to shower and some housecleaning and laundry. As she made her way to the shower, she thought ruefully 'Maybe me and Sheldon swapped personalities, he's thinking about sex and I'm left thinking about cleaning and doing laundry.'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was official. Raj and Howard were officially freaked out. Sheldon had gotten in the back seat of the car quietly, and not insisting at all that Howard relinquish the front seat to him immediately. There was no annoying whining for Raj to desist playing that caterwauling he called music and play a car game instead. Though they could had looked over those actions as Sheldon brooding over the prospect of having to participate in a holiday he felt was utter nonsense, but what they couldn't overlook was Sheldon being **nice**. He was actually being pleasant. The invitation to a traditional Saturnalia dinner that he would be preparing with Penny was accepted apprehensively, with them wondering what the hell was going on. Arriving at the mall only raised their concerns further making them wonder was he having some form of a psychotic break. Sheldon was smiling at strangers, making observation on how festive the store fronts were and he was participating in banal chit chat with them and seemed actual interested in their answers. When trying to decide what he should buy Penny for Saturnalia he had listen to their suggestions about a gift basket but felt that it didn't genuinely convey the new paradigm their relationship was embarking on.

Howard tired of trying to figure out what he was trying to pull was no longer able to hold his counsel and demanded answers.

"What the frak is wrong with you, is this some big Bazinga or something because this is just too weird?" he said looking weary and unnerved by Sheldon's attitude.

"Dude, seriously it's like a strange episode of _The Twilight Zone._" Raj said shaking his head and then with a dawning horror began to back away from Sheldon. "Oh Shiva, it's the Body Snatchers Clause, Sheldon's been replaced by an alien pod!"

"Crap, we need to call Leonard so he can take care of it per the roommate agreement" Howard said, pulling out his cell to call Leonard and backing away from the thing claiming to be Sheldon.

"Howard and Raj, I am not a pod person. That's insane on the face of it." Sheldon argued. "Leonard certainly doesn't need to be called and if you are unwilling to help me find a gift for Penny you can both just go home. I'll ride the bus or call a cab when I'm ready to leave."

They both stared at him in complete and utter shock. Sheldon riding on the bus without the security of his bus pants and he was contemplating riding in a filthy cab with an untold number of germs and pathogens ready to invade his healthy immune system.

"Come on Sheldon of course we're a little afraid, you're acting like you're a human." Howard reasoned. "And in the name of everything holy what do you mean a 'new' paradigm with Penny?"

"Are you planning to go after Leonard's Penny?" Raj asked, also trying to figure out what was different about the self-claimed homo-novus.

"Penny isn't chattel that can belong to someone. Leonard flawed reasoning that he has exclusive rights to her person because he saw her first is preposterous." Sheldon replied heatedly, the venom in his voice giving the other two a slight pause.

"Dude, chill." Raj said, realizing that other than acting different that this Sheldon was different. This wasn't the Sheldon that threw tantrums and could be intimidated by a threat to call his mother. True this was likely the same Sheldon, but he was different. His mindset was no longer that of an overgrown child, but of a man who knew what he wanted and what he seemed to want right now was Penny.

Trying to appease Sheldon's ruffled feathers, "You're right Penny belongs to Penny, but what about your roommate's total crush on her?" Raj asked, perplexed at this recent turn of events.

"Yeah, guys don't go after girls that dated their friends, especially if said friend is still in love with the girl." Howard hurriedly added.

"You're referring to The Bro Codes which are rules established between 'bros' to govern their conduct with other 'bros'." Sheldon cited, giving air quotes to bros for emphasis with Howard and Raj nodding in agreement.

"Well didn't Leonard break this rule himself when he started dating Dr. Stephanie Barnett and furthermore, doesn't these same set of codes likewise state that a bro will not go after another bro sister, unless it's a stepsister?" Sheldon asked both friends.

Both of them were startled at his comprehension of these social conventions and his awareness that they and Leonard were guilty of breaking the supposedly sacred Bro Codes in the past.

"Well, when you put it like that, screw Leonard." Raj said, "Plus I'm really sorry for going after your sister, man, but in my defense she was hot."

"No it's not okay. Yes, Leonard stole Stephanie from me, but I didn't love her and he replaced her with a reasonable facsimile." Howard insisted, unwilling to let this logical Sheldon reason his backstabbing of a friend away.

"Are you insinuating that he loves her?" Sheldon eyed Wolowitz with his darkening gaze. "Leonard. Does. Not. Love. Penny. He wants her because it would be good for his ego and the jealousy he would elicit from his peers at being able to obtain her." Sheldon snorted in disdain. "Any woman who fits that description would do for him, and if you were being honest, you would have no choice but to agree."

"Sheldon what the hell is this?!" Howard almost shouted, losing his patience with this new and improved Sheldon. "When did you start liking women?! What are you trying to prove?!"

"Let's calm down, maybe get an Orange Julius and talk about this like men." Raj said nervously, aware of the stares they were drawing from strangers.

"This is me shopping to obtain a gift for Penny. I don't like all women, just Penny. There is nothing I'm trying to prove to you or anyone else. Now, I've decided to look at jewelry for her gift, don't let me keep you gentlemen, I can make other arrangements for a ride home." Sheldon promptly turned and left to find Penny a perfect gift.

Raj and Howard watched as he disappeared in to the crowd of holiday shoppers still staring long after he was gone.

"I think we should let Leonard know what Sheldon is up to." Howard said.

Raj shrugged. "It's not our story to tell and Sheldon's right, Leonard doesn't own Penny. I'm going to grab an Orange Julius and then catch up with Sheldon. I'm dying to see what he'll get her." Raj said and made his way to the food court, humming Beyonce's _Single Ladies_.

Howard watched Raj walk away and thought maybe he was right, this wasn't their business and perhaps they should stay neutral. Like Switzerland. Sheldon was correct about Leonard going after Stephanie even though Leonard had known she was with him, but he refused to acknowledge that fact to old Shelly, unable to give him that point of contention. Still, there was no fricking way Leonard was going to take this well.

Really how Leonard took the news didn't much matter at this stage. Sheldon was in love with Penny and she was in love with him too. You had to be total oblivious not to feel the unresolved sexual tension between those two. There constant fighting was some sort of bizarre foreplay they couldn't help but engage in. And seriously, what hot twenty-three year old chick would give up her Saturday nights to do laundry with a self-righteous, condescending blow hole if it wasn't love? The seat right next to his precious 0,0,0,0 had somehow become her special 'spot'. Not to mention their Halo battles to best each other were epic, Soft Kitty was not just sung to him by her when he was sick, but to her by him when she was sick too and their countless Age of Conan quests they insisted on going together on. Maybe this was inevitable and as Sheldon would say, 'The moving finger writes, and having writ, moves on!'

Big and Rich's _Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)_ cut through his jumbled thoughts alerting him he had received a new text message. Reading the short missive sent by Leonard for the third time had him giving up any hope that they would be able to keep this under wraps until after Saturnalia. The message, short and to the point read,

"Caught S and P making out need to hit the bars. C u & raj at 7 2nite"

The visual of Smelly Cooper getting it on with the vanilla scented cheesecake goddess was disturbing and yet intriguing. He would have loved to have been the fly on that wall when Leonard busted in on that cozy scene. So Sheldon drastic change to become a real boy was because of Penny. It was good to know he hadn't been body snatch (unable to fully rule it out until now) or that this was some elaborate Punk'd being played on Raj and him. Deciding to find Raj and tell him of the new developments and their God given duty to help get Leonard drunk and laid. Maybe a trip to Las Vegas was in order, after all, the poor guy had been blindsided and crushed. Texting Raj to find his whereabouts and groaning at the answering text. Slowly he made his way both to Raj and Sheldon who were at Gorman's Fine Jewelry. Resigned to watch unbaised from the sidelines as one friend destroyed another friend's dream.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Many thanks to all those who take the time to review and favorite my story. I apologize for not replying personally but now with classes finally over until fall I hope that will change, but please believe every review is read and appreciated.**

Sheldon felt his trip to the mall had been quite successful, he had found Penny a present that was more intimate than the previous gift baskets, but not too personal, such as lingerie (which was Howard's suggestion). Now approaching the lobby Sheldon spied Penny through the clear glass doors, her back turned towards him, sorting through her mail. She looked wonderful in a yellow midriff T-shirt, black yoga pants and an upswept, messy ponytail. Sheldon watched as she disposed of her junk mail and flyers until she heard him, along with Raj and Howard, enter into the lobby. Sheldon watched as she looked over her shoulder to see who had joined her in the lobby, momentarily stunning him at how quickly her whole demeanor seemed to change from one of sheer boredom to hardly suppressed excitement. Reassured at her reaction to his arrival brought a genuine smile to his face, his gaze seeking out hers to find the solace and peace she always seem to bring to his chaotic mind. Sheldon would have sworn, even though he knew it was impossible, that his heart literally stopped when her green eyes met his blue ones, making the rest of the world around them cease to exist. An awestruck Sheldon stood there simply transfixed in her look, leading Raj and Howard to run right into his frozen form. Though he was very pleased to see her, Sheldon couldn't help but also feel a little apprehensive on whether she was having any second thoughts over his Neanderthal-type behavior he had displayed this morning. Even though she seemed to have thoroughly enjoyed it, he was afraid that with a little time and perspective her attitude could have changed. However ambivalent he was about his earlier actions, he still had a really hard time holding back the desire to sweep her up in another embrace.

Noticing Penny, Howard quickly stepped around Sheldon and approached her in what only he would assume was a sexy swagger.

"Penny." Howard said, taking her right hand and bowing over it. "Ciao bella, posso solo dire che stai cercando incantevole oggi.

Pulling back her hand quickly as if she had been burned, "Knock it off, Howard." Penny replied.

"I was just letting you know how lovely you look today in flawless Italian. "Howard said, his voice taking on a particular smarmy quality.

"Howard either you knock it off or you'll get knocked out, your choice." She said with a slight shrug of her shoulders and a sickly sweet smile, irritated at his continued inability to see that she wasn't interested in his cheesy come-ons in any language.

Raj stepped around an immobile Sheldon and sheepishly gave Penny a small nod and a quick wave. He grabbed Howard by his arm toward him and began to whisper something into his ear.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Raj and I need to head on up and let Leonard know we are kidnapping him to Las Vegas until after Christmas to help him get over the holiday blues." Howard said.

"Wait, I thought we were all doing the holiday dinner thingy for Chr-Saturnalia." Penny asked in confusion looking at Sheldon for an explanation.

"Unfortunately Penny, it seems that our fellow dinner guests have abandoned our tentative plans in favor of the sinful pleasures that can only seem to be found in gambling dens with free alcohol and loose, moral women." Sheldon replied.

Raj began to rapidly whisper something else in to Howard's ear.

"Celine Dion? Really Raj? We're not going to freaking Las Vegas to see her. Come on so we can inform Leonard about our change in plans for tonight." Howard said.

Penny and Sheldon watched as the duo walked upstairs with Raj frantically gesturing and continuing to whisper in hush tones, no doubt trying to persuade Wolowitz to the idea of catching a Celine Dion show while in Las Vegas.

Unsure of what to do next, Sheldon walked past Penny, over to his own mailbox and pulled out his mail. Turning back to her, he suddenly became very interested in the floor pattern, wholly afraid once again that she was probably thinking of a polite way to let him down gently. He began to mentally chastise himself at his foolhardy and hasty attempts at trying to seduce her without first letting her know of his attentions or properly romancing her before taking such liberties with her person. Maybe he was just overthinking things again and his chances weren't completely blown yet. If perhaps in their subsequent meetings or dates he could incorporate some type of flirting and compliments, along with just a small kiss, instead of a full on body assault maybe he could still salvage their new relationship paradigm. He decided from this moment on to base his courtship of Penny with that old adage in mind: _Slow and steady wins the race_.

"So you're not going with them?" Penny asked, making her way up the stairwell with Sheldon instantly following instep beside her.

"I neither was invited nor have the inclination to go if I had been. I guess I must endeavor to spend the holidays alone with only my beautiful neighbor to keep me company." Sheldon said, testing the waters by starting out with a slight praise.

"Really, Mrs. Vartabedian, Sheldon?" Penny bit down on her inside cheek to keep from laughing aloud when Sheldon stopped and gave her a perplexing look.

"No, not Mrs. Vartabedian, Penny. The allusion to 'beautiful neighbor' was in fact a reference pertaining to you, Penny." A flustered Sheldon answered, now wondering if he in fact was being too subtle in his compliments.

Penny seeing his obvious discomfort, hurried to put him at ease. "I was just joking Moonpie, I knew you meant me and of course we can do so something together. Since a big holiday meal is out, let's just order in some food and watch movies." Penny said as they continued on up to the fourth floor.

"The cancelled dinner seems to also have a direct effect on our plans for shopping for groceries this afternoon. No Saturnalia dinner to prepare ergo no need to shop for one." Sheldon said, feeling disappointed at the thought of losing quality time withPenny.

"How about, since it's only us for the next couple of days we keep it simple across the board. Let's spend tonight and tomorrow evening, like Saturnalia. You and me, some take-out and movies." Penny suggested, liking the idea of being alone with just Sheldon for the holidays.

Reaching the fourth floor landing, they both walked together to Penny's door, neither of them wanting their conversation overheard by the three men in 4A.

"That would be satisfactory, even though I'll like to obtain your assurance for a rain check on going out to dinner at a later time, since take-out is a poor substitution for spending an evening out on the town with you." He earnestly said.

"That sounds like a plan for a later date, but for tonight let's say about six, which will give us roughly four hours." Penny said smiling up at Sheldon.

"I'll see you then at six along with, no doubt, a small collection of 'chick flicks'." He laughed, brushing loose strands of hair from her face, before giving into the pressing need to kiss her, leaning in and gently caressing her lips with his in a chaste kiss.

Penny was having an entirely different idea on how exactly their second kiss should play out. Penny slowly slid her hands up his shoulders to join them at the nape of his neck and lifted herself closer to him, while pulling his mouth down to meet hers. This was his personal definition of heaven as she deepened their kiss, and gently begun sucking on his tongue while her hands ran through his hair encouraging him on. Sheldon groaned into her mouth, his hands circling around her waist urging her pliant body closer to his. He pushed down the desire to lift her up and back against her door, quickly shedding them of clothes and making love to her right here in the open hallway. With great reluctance they pulled apart from one another, both only doing so because of their equal need for air.

"See you at six." She said in a slightly husky voice and turned to let herself in to her apartment.

Sheldon stared at her closed door for a minute until he shook himself out of his trance. He made his way to his door and walked in, depositing his keys and the mail on the table beside the door. He stopped in his tracks as one pair of hostile eyes and two pair of eyes that were more of an inquisitive nature, all locked in on him. Deciding to ignore the upcoming confrontation with Leonard as long as he possibly could, Sheldon walked over to his desk. He pulled his carrier bag off and carefully placed it to the side, since it held Penny's gift. He barely made himself comfortable in his chair before Leonard let loose his rant.

"Sheldon, could you catch me up on why my best friend has decided to go behind my back to steal Penny the hell away from me?!" Leonard snapped.

Sheldon looked up and shifted in the chair. "I guess I am your friend since you really haven't betrayed our friendship at this point in time, but you should now know the title of my best friend belongs to Penny." Sheldon answered.

"What the hell are you getting at?! I have never betrayed you, but we can't say the same for you!" Leonard hissed, stepping closer to Sheldon's chair.

Unwilling to have a pointless and drawn out argument about the shorter man's persistent belief that Penny somehow belongs to him, made Sheldon decide to end this fight quickly. He stood and turned to face Leonard, whose anger was almost tangible.

"Leonard you need to listen to what I'm about to say, because I will not repeat it ever again." Sheldon said.

"What one thing in the world can you possible ever say to make it right again between us?" Leonard asked.

"Who said anything about making it right?" Sheldon asked. "I'm just asking you to listen to what I have to say in order to bring this disagreement to an end."

Howard and Raj looked back and forth between the two roommates as if they were courtside, watching a tennis match.

"Why should I listen to you? I'm the one who was stabbed in the back by a social retard!" Leonard sneered. "I have wanted Penny since the first time I saw her! I never gave up hope even when I was with Leslie and Stephanie that she would be mine! You didn't even want to give her the fucking time of day when we met her and now you think I'm just going to let you waltz in and have her! You are not about to take my happily ever after away, dammit!"

"If you're finished with your tirade, I would still like to say something." Sheldon said.

Leonard let out a derisive snort and sarcastically replied, "Oh, does His Royal-Fucking-Highness need to tell me something! Everyone stop and listen to the all-powerful, all-knowing, control freak because he has something to say to little, insignificant me!"

Howard and Raj looked at each other, both of their expressions saying the same thing, 'Leonard was probably not going to be happy with whatever Sheldon had to tell him.'

"My relationship with Penny is none of your business. Penny and I are single adults, and as such, are able to enter into a consenting loving and sexual relationship if we so choose. We neither need Leonard Hofstedar permission nor do we seek it. You will respect my decision on this matter or you can find somewhere else to live." Sheldon said with a deceptively calm tone, only his eyes giving away the hint of steel behind the statement.

Leonard's shock gave quickly away to anger, leading him to strike out maliciously at what he still believed to be his inept socially and stunted emotionally roommate.

"What the hell can you do without me?" Leonard said in a clearly condescending tone. "How will you get to work? The comic book store? The Cheesecake Factory? The mall? Or any of your other hundreds of appointments? What about your precious routine for Halo or movie night, because if I go Raj and Howard will follow. The only reason they've put up with your particular brand of crazy this long is because of me."

Howard winced inward at Leonard hateful words; though truthful on his part he wasn't so sure about Raj. He turned to look at the friend in question and saw the deer-in-the-headlights expression on Raj's face. He wasn't surprised when Raj gave in to his nervous bladder and escaped to the bathroom.

"I believe you're mistakenly putting your self-worth in conjunction with my life far too high, Leonard. Consider your services as my personal chauffeur, as you see it, over. If Koothrappali or Wolowitz decide to no longer prescribe to the social dictates of our friendship, due to your previous acquaintance with them I will accept it and will hold no ill will toward them. Last but not least, you can consider our established routine along with the friendship rider of our roommate agreement null and void. Essentially we will continue to share a living space and utilities equally, unless you persist on this issue with Penny. Then I would ask you to vacate this residence within 72 hours from the time of notification." Sheldon easily responded, before going back to sit at desk and dismissing all thoughts of Leonard from his mind.

Howard positive that Leonard was not about to let the whole subject about Penny just drop stood and grabbed Leonard's arm and propelled him towards his bedroom. Leonard tried to shrug out of his grip, but was pushed quickly into his bedroom where Howard closed the door behind them.

"What the hell, Howard?!" Leonard huffed, "I wasn't finished talking to Mr. Ego. Does he actually think he can give me an ultimatum and threaten to evict me if I don't fall in line?"

"I think I would go with a big yes." Howard said, rolling his eyes at his friend's stupidity over the matter. He himself had no desire to see how far Sheldon would go if Leonard continued to push the issue. This 'new' Sheldon was an unknown entity with a real possibility of resorting to violence and he had no doubt Leonard would be the loser in that scenario. "Now pack a bag so we can start phase one of 'Project Help Leonard Get Over Penny' in Sin City."

Leonard anger seemed to dissipate, as he sunk down on his bed. "Don't you understand Howard that there's no getting over Penny for me, I love her with all my heart and soul. I'm not leaving her so he can move in on her." Leonard whined.

"Leonard you're about to ruin your real relationship with Sheldon over a fictional relationship you don't have with Penny." Howard replied.

"Penny and I have dated." Leonard countered.

"Two dates Leonard. One that you tricked her into going on under false pretenses and the second one where you referred to her as being stupid and she slammed the door in your face." Howard pointed out in frustration at a delusional Leonard.

"Okay, maybe our dates are not the best example of our relationship." Leonard admitted. "But we have a close friendship, not to mention the chemistry between us."

"Chemistry? Between you and Penny?" Howard skepticism was apparent.

"You know what Ho-" Leonard began, becoming angry at his friend's disbelief, but was interrupted by a small knock on the door and Raj entering his bedroom.

"Are we still going to Vegas, baby?" Raj asked, his smile vanishing at the seriousness on his friends' faces. "What's the matter?"

"Same old, same old. Leonard loves Penny and doesn't want to leave her alone with Sheldon." Howard said.

"Well, why do you love her?" Raj asked.

"What?" Leonard asked.

"It's an easy question Leonard, why do you love Penny?" Raj persisted.

"Well, she's real nice and beautiful. Oh, and she has a great smile." Leonard mumbled.

"Is that it?" Raj prodded, not surprised that Leonard had been incapable of naming more.

"You know what, love is subjective. There's no reason why you love someone you just do." Leonard argued.

"Well, what do you know about her. What are her parents' names? Does she have any brothers or sisters and if so, how many of each? Is she a cat or dog person? What's her favorite movie and movie star? What's her favorite food? Is she allergic to anything? What are her biggest hopes and her greatest fears?" Raj asked.

"Well she wants to be a star, so I would say that's her biggest hope." Leonard answered lamely.

"Shouldn't you know at least some of these things about the women you claimed to love?" Raj insisted, watching Leonard try to rationalize not knowing hardly anything about Penny.

Needing to break the uncomfortable silence that had descended over the room, Howard went to Leonard's closet and pulled out his suitcase.

"So pack already or all the hot drunk chicks will be taken." Howard joked, trying to inject a little levity into the room.

"I guess I might as well go. Plus, I really don't want to be a third wheel to Spock and Penny." Leonard grudgingly admitted. The other two watched quietly as he slowly began to pack. Closing his suitcase he let them know he just had to grab his toiletries out the bathroom on the way out. Walking to his bedroom door Leonard suddenly halted. A sense of foreboding overtook him, about how this weekend could change everything, none most likely in his favor.

"Can you remind me again why leaving those two alone is such a good idea?" Leonard asked his two friends.

"If you and Penny are meant to be, Sheldon throwing his hat in the ring isn't going to make a bit of difference." Raj said, trying to comfort Leonard with false platitudes.

"Plus leaving Penny alone with Sheldon for three days is a good thing. He'll drive her completely bat crap crazy and may end up hogtying and castrating him." Howard tried assuring Leonard, while Raj looked doubtful.

"Yeah, you're right. This is Sheldon Cooper. With only the two of them here all weekend, with no buffer from his crazy, should cure her of any thoughts of dating Sheldon forever." Leonard agreed, feeling better that everything would be back to normal soon. "Let's go."


End file.
